Little bit of both. I try really hard to live up to a standard that most people don't want to try to live up too. My mother says I make her strive to be a better person because of how wonderful I am, how gentle and kind and how hard I try to learn and improve each day. She also says I irritate her because I am always showing her how she could be happy when she isn't and it pisses her off that she isn't doing it. So I don't know. I worked really hard to stay off drugs and alcohol because of what it did to my family and how much it just wrecks peoples lives. Not that I have not gone off the deep end every once in a while and got blauto like auto but I never let it get to a point where anything we so out of hand it was wrecking my life. But I push myself way harder than anyone in my family it's not a trait I have seen in anyone else in my family maybe it's because I have seen just how far down people can fall into the holes of life. I have really tried hard to be a good person. The best type of person. I don't I think it's a cop out when people say they are not a role model every human being is a role model no matter where they are on this bogus ladder of life. We are living examples every minute of the human potential. If you cut yourself short with giving into flaws and vices you never know what you can achieve. I have achieved huge huge personal things that the world will never know about but some of my friends might and it prompted them to move forward... When I was 16 in english class we had to do an assignment and write a poem in the same form as this other poem she likes so I did. And as usual the teacher had me read mine in front of the class and she ws crying because it was an inspiration to her. My whole life I was made to be an example of what to be by teachers but I was just this little rebel a serious little rebel I was always challenging teachers and the system and making people cry and they were always testing my IQ and I just didn't fit into the system very well but I valued what it was trying to do. I have always had a personality that was vastly different from everyone I knew and it wasn't till I was older than I found out that I had a personality in the 1 percent of the world and same with my IQ and my height and my abilities and everything about me was so not of the norm that I started understanding why I am like I am and I accept that. But it is very difficult to relate to people in the aspect that people don't get me but I often get them far far far more then they will ever understand. So Whatever the factors involved in making me who I am right this second I have to believe that I am the best me I can be this very moment and every moment step forward into a better me and a more wonderful person.
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